October 4, 1996

The day my life changed forever.
My mom died at the hospital.
When we found out was when "Stephan", "Edgar", and I was watching tv. My dad, "Alex", and my sister-in-law "Rachel" came to our home."Rachel" had tears in her eyes. I had a bad feeling.
Before they came home they went to visit mom.
My dad turned off the tv and told us.
I cannot tell you how numbed I felt.
I felt so cold inside.
I couldn't move, speak,breathe, or feel anything.
The following weeks during the wake, my dad gave me money to buy some clothes.
So I went with "Stacy" (we tried to be friends again) and her mom.
We went everywhere looking for anything I liked.
Before we knew it, it was night time.

I called home with a payphone, but the calls didn't get through and I called many times.
When we got to my home, I was yelled at by everyone. My dad, brothers, and "Edgar".
I told them I'd called, but nobody believed me.
It broke my heart that my own family especially "Stephan" did not believed me.
Till this day a part of me hates him for what he did.
I still feel betrayed by "Stephan".
Something about betrayal that stays with you.

The day we buried her, I turned to "Stephan" and I saw him cry. Something happened that for the first time I cried.
Everyone hugged me, but my father kept yelling to leave me alone.
I guess he didn't want to see me cry.

This song is dedicated to my mom!

My Immortal
by:Evanescence

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

The wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot
erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears
And I've held your hand through
all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me
by your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind.

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you've gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along.

R.I.P MOM
I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU EVERYDAY.

I.S.166 Jr. High

I laughed at the memories of this school. Whew, the things that happened.
The first day I wore this orange sun dress with a jean vest.
We got to school late, missed the first class. So we thought ("Stacy" and I) to cut school.
So we went to this place where the factories were and walked around. We got caught by the cops and was forced to go back to school but before we went one of the cops was flirting with me and told me if only I was older he would be interested. We went back to school and the girls in Spanish class (I think it was Spanish or could have been History) made fun of me because my hair was a mess, so I fixed it, but they still made fun.

The months passed and there was this guy who always sat next to me in Social Studies who grabbed my ass everyday. I told my brother "Alex" and he reported to the principal.
The principal had the guy suspended for harassment.

When the year passed I was in the 8Th grade. It already started to go worse. I was threaten by girls who wanted to cut my face up, so I avoided them by cutting school.
The day I was caught when I asked "Julia" and "Stacy" to come with, we went to Starret City, a small outlet mall.
They have patrol officers who spotted us and took us to some sort of police station, where they patted us down and called our parents.
My father wasn't home and neither was "Stephan" so they said they will try again later.
They took us to school and we had an talk with the principal and teachers.

They spoke to us separately and I lied through my teeth. I told one of the teachers that we cut school together, but "Stacy" told the truth that It was my idea. "Julia" and I were shocked she sold me out. That was the end of our friendship. I told my family that there was the girls who threaten to cut me that I kept cutting school and it was true, I didn't feel safe there.
So they had me transfer to a Catholic school.