September 9, 2009

"Alex" hasn't called yet and "Stephan" is freaking out because tomorrow Coned are going to shut off the power and "Stephan" needs his money back from "Alex".
I hope he calls today to help!

FYI, "Alex" emailed me about a free GED Program online.
I could take it but with the library closed, I'm gonna have to walk to the other one until then.
Tyra Banks talked about periods on her show. It reminded me of my first time. I was in P.S.273, 5th grade class and I had an accident where I hit my vagina on my desk in the corner of it. It hurt so much, but I ignored it. When I got home, I went to the bathroom and saw blood on my panties. I freaked out and called my mom. I thought I was gonna die but my mom told me what it was.

September 8, 2009

Today I had to walk to the library which is very far because our library is closed until further notice for rebuilding. So I went and used the 15 min computer.
To delete some of my emails, print info, email "Alex" about our situations.

I hope he will help!

September 3, 2009

My brother "Stephan" and I were discussing about the child molster/rapist who took an 11 year old girl. People wanted to understand how a monster like him was freed when he raped a woman previously. He got out at 11 years when was supposed to do 50 years. The reason these monsters are able to be free is because the System and Government does not take it as seriously as other crimes because they see it as since girls are going to have sex anyway!
A term Oprah herself has said. Woman and girls have forever been seen as nothing but sexual beings. If it had been a boy, they would be more outraged!

Looks like my phone is about to be cancel 'cause my father forgot to pay the first bill so they added more so now it's up to $105.11.
So he's not paying it and I just downloaded a ringtone and wallpaper. Linkin Park's "New Divide" and a "Skull Queen Fairy".
I also downloaded a faerie wallpaper and flyleaf's song "Fully Alive".
I saved all the wallpapers I wanted in my bookmark so if I know for sure that my phone is gonna be cancelled I will download them.
I don't know about the ringtones.
I only found two I like:

The Phantom of the Opera's songs "Music of the Night" and "Point of No Return".
Maybe Santana's song "Into the Night" featuring Chad Kroeger.
There is a song I recently fell in love with called "I Don't Wanna be me" by Type O Negative.
I know not so interesting but that's all I have.

FYI, I was wrong, the song I'm looking for is not from Type O Negative!

Lilila Rose Darkhome is a fan of

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September 1, 2009

Days and weeks are going by and still "Stephan" hasn't done shit to pay the bills.
I'm getting more frustrated as the time goes by. Not to mention with some of his money he can buy a VCR to tape our shows coming soon.
I'm missing my favorite show "True Blood", I missed three episodes of the second season. They were the last eps of the season. Our electricity is going to be shut down and our TVs along with it.
How is my cell going to survive without electricity to charge it, same goes for my dad's cell.

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS BULLSHIT!!!AAAAH!!!!

I want to knock some sense into his dim-witted brain.
Sometimes writing in this journal helps me by letting me rant.
My special friend and therapist.
We are so fucking screwed!!!

Update

"Ann", my half-sister from my father's ex-wife told him she has Leukemia, but dad doesn't believe her. He thinks that she lie to get money from him.

Our cable was cancelled because "Stephan" kept the bill and only paid $69 bucks instead of it all. He was supposed to get his tax money from "Alex" to pay the cable and electricity bills, but he was scared too.
"Alex" has said he will pay the bills but he wants our father to pay him back. Ha...Pa still owes him from the last time and he will never get that money back.
I missed two episodes of True Blood, Being Human, and Warehouse 13. I'm so pissed and sick of this shit!

August 31, 2009

The Anniversary of 9/11 is next month and I wanted to write about that experience seeing those towers fall.
I woke up at 8am to watch my favorite talk show, when it was interrupted by an special report.
They talked about how a plane crashed into one of the towers then minutes passed and the other tower was hit by another plane.
It was like watching an "end of the world" movies!

I was so shocked I was numb! I felt the despair and fears of the people trapped inside and those who ran for their lives. My cousin was there at the second floor of one of the towers.
He was able to run out before it collapse. He is an paramedic.
My brother "Stephan" used to work at one of those towers! He said he was glad that he wasn't there!

This poem is dedicated to the victims and their families of that horrible tragedy!

i carry your heart with me
by: ee cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Forgotten Memories

I never mention these two memories because I forgot a lot of things, but I remember these! One, my brother "Stephan" once played basketball with Stephen Marbury when they were teens.

And two, I had a dream once back in Brooklyn that a man got shot on the head and the next night the maintenance man who cleans our apartment building was killed outside my window.
My mom and I ducked because we heard gunfire, when we looked it was a man who was on the ground bleeding.
We found out he was shot on the head because he walked into a fight with some thugs.

August 6, 2009

Judge Sonia Sotomayor has been confirmed as Supreme Court Judge!
She will be the first Latina.
A big step for Puerto Ricans and Hispanics everywhere.

Recently

My cat Shea just found and killed three mice, two in my room and a baby in the Kitchen. We found out that our next door neighbors have mice problems and their coming to our home!

June 26, 2009

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett have died today!
My heart goes out to the children!
I know how it feels to lose a parent!

A Reminiscence
By Anne Bronte


YES, thou art gone ! and never more
Thy sunny smile shall gladden me ;
But I may pass the old church door,
And pace the floor that covers thee.

May stand upon the cold, damp stone,
And think that, frozen, lies below
The lightest heart that I have known,
The kindest I shall ever know.

Yet, though I cannot see thee more,
'Tis still a comfort to have seen ;
And though thy transient life is o'er,
'Tis sweet to think that thou hast been ;

To think a soul so near divine,
Within a form so angel fair,
United to a heart like thine,
Has gladdened once our humble sphere.


I saw the Michael Jackson Memorial on MTV!
When Michael's daughter Paris spoke about her father and started to cry I left to my room. I couldn't stand to see her in pain.
My heart breaks for them!